How to Stay Positive When Dealing with Toxic People
Are you in Danger?
Normally, this information would be at the end of an article, but I think it’s important to make something clear before you continue. If you are being sexually abused, physically abused, or are being threatened, please do not attempt to stay in the situation. There is help (please see resources below).
If you are in immediate danger or don’t feel safe, call 911!
Report to a mandatory reporter, such as teachers, social workers, healthcare workers, mental health professionals, or someone in law enforcement.
National Domestic Help Hotline: 800.799.SAFE (7233)
National Child Abuse Hotline: Call or text 1.800.4.A.CHILD (1.800.422.4453)
National Human Trafficking Hotline 1 (888) 373. 7888 or SMS: 233733 (Text "HELP" or "INFO").
Now here’s the late introduction…
At some point in your life, you’re going to come in contact with a difficult person that makes you feel crazy, overwhelmed, distracted, invisible, anxious, depressed, resentful, angry, or a combination of these emotions. However, if everything and everyone were always peaches and rainbows, then we would never have to deal with the bad, so it would be difficult to fully appreciate the good that comes into our life.
So how do we make difficult people a part of our spiritual growth?
The Bigger the Obstacle, the Greater the Growth
Please know that everything happens for a reason and there are no coincidences, which includes no coincidences for the people and circumstances in our life.
Sometimes it seems unfair because difficult or toxic people are physically, mentally, and spiritually draining. While in the center of emotional turmoil, it feels like the world is crashing down on you. During these hard times, you’ll attract more and more negative people and circumstances since your thoughts release vibrations that attract more situations that match your current emotions.
On a positive note, the universe does not give you situations that you cannot overcome no matter how bad you feel at the current moment.
Whether you’re dealing with childhood trauma, betrayal, a difficult coworker, a selfish friend, or anyone that causes damage to your emotional well-being, please know others have shared your pain and have overcome similar situations.
The bigger the obstacle that you have to overcome, the greater spiritual growth you will obtain.
Gratitude for Spiritual Trainers in Ugly Disguises
Gratitude is a major part of spiritual growth, but how do you experience gratitude when you’re dealing with someone who has toxic personality traits or intrusive memories of a past (or present) bully? Remember, bullies come in all ages, sizes, and from all communities. You can find them at school, at work, at church, at a restaurant or even in your home.
As adults, we do not always have the option of ignoring the bully. One way to feel gratitude is to look at difficult people in your life as spiritual trainers who push you to overcome negative emotions.
When a toxic person is ruining your day or intruding your thoughts--make it an intention to find the benefits you are getting. I know what you're thinking. How could I possibly benefit from this person?! Here are a few ways:
Mentally thank them for the opportunity to overcome a negative emotion.
Feel proud of yourself for remaining clear minded without having overwhelming emotions during a negative encounter.
Feel grateful that although the toxic person was seeking a reaction from you, you did not react.
If you do react or feel overwhelmed, quickly forgive yourself for interacting, then move on from the situation.
Let’s be clear. Feeling gratitude for a toxic person does not mean you condone or accept current or past bad behaviors. It means you are choosing to protect yourself and your mental well-being by not playing into the toxic person’s game. By choosing gratitude, you will bring more things to be grateful for into your life by law of attraction.
Forgiveness is the Number One Lesson
You realize your potential for spiritual growth based on the size of the obstacle you’re trying to overcome. You are showing gratitude for people with toxic personalities since they benefit your spiritual journey.
Forgiveness may be the most difficult step, but it’s always the most beneficial. Dr. Wayne Dyer described the importance of forgiveness as the ultimate act of loving yourself and explained it in a way that my words couldn’t compare. He states:
No one has ever died from a snake bite. They die from the venom which continues to pour through the system long after the bite took place. You can’t be unbitten, but you can choose not to have the venom flow through you. When you rid yourself of the venom and forgive, you are truly acting as a loving being.
Your inability to forgive only hurts one person and that’s you. Forgiveness is more than words. It’s not simply saying I forgive as words are meaningless without emotion and sincerity.
Once you choose to forgive someone, they can no longer cause strong negative emotion in your life, but instead you’ll experience peace since this person no longer has control over your thoughts.
Remember, forgiveness is not for the benefit of the person who hurt you. Forgiveness is the ultimate self-love for yourself.